Sex Chat: Five Awkward Conversations And How To Have Them
Let’s face it; sometimes it’s easier to have sex than talk about it.
Do you find the idea of discussing contraception awkward? If so, you’re not alone. In June 2018 a study by ellaOne, the most effective morning after pill, found that one in five 17-35 year-olds have never discussed contraception with a new partner.
Worse still, a study by YouGov found that 47% of 16-24-year-olds didn’t use protection with a new partner, while a shocking 1 in 10 have never used a condom in their lives.
At #MyMorningAfter, we want to promote healthy, open attitudes towards sex and encourage people to feel more comfortable having these ‘awkward conversations’. So, get ready, we’re about to listen to your most awkward stories...
“Can you wear a condom?”
Stephanie, a 25-year-old writer from London, dated someone who spent over a year complaining about rubbering up.
Condoms are the only barrier method against STDs, so if you don’t know your partner's sexual history, or you don’t feel comfortable without that barrier, it’s best to be honest. Explain why you want to use condoms and make it clear that it’s a deal breaker. If your partner won’t accept or respect your boundaries then are they really worth your time?
“Did you give me an STD?”
Talking about sexual health, STDs and the state of your nether regions can feel really uncomfortable, but having a five-minute conversation could save you months of worry.
Megan, a 24-year-old shop assistant from Nottingham, tells us about when having the talk could’ve saved her and her partner months of worry.
Not sure how to broach the sensitive subject of sexual health with your partner? We recommend a gentle approach. Instead of screaming: “Did you give me herpes?!”, try saying: “for my own peace of mind, it would be great if we could both get an STD test.”
“Can you wash your balls?”
Is your partner’s BO putting your sex life in a funk? Gemma a 22-year-old waitress from Dorchester, tells us about how she broached the conversation.
If you’d like to feel clean before you get down and dirty, suggest that you take a shower or bath together. Washing each other can be an intimate act, plus there’s always shower sex!
“What’s your magic number?”
Sarah, a 22-year-old editorial assistant from London tells us about a not-so-magical encounter…
If your partner brings it up (or if you want to know how many people they’ve slept with) then honesty is the best policy. Don’t judge their number and don’t invite them to judge yours.
If you think they have a problem with how many people you’ve slept with (whether they think it’s too many or not enough), ask them why. Their answer may just be down to their own insecurities, or it could make you realise they’re not the right person for you.
“So you finished, right?”
Despite what movies, TV, and porn show us, sex does not always – or even often – result in an orgasm for women. In fact, only 39% of women regularly orgasm during penetrative sex compared to 91% of men.
Matilda, a 22-year-old psychologist from Essex, got caught faking it.
If it’s not happening, don’t fake it. While it might seem like you’re saving them embarrassment, any decent partner would rather learn how to give you pleasure for real.
Talking about how to make sex better for you can feel really uncomfortable, but it can quickly become an intimate, even sexy, discussion. You could discuss bringing sex toys into the bedroom, trying different positions or incorporating other forms of sex into your session.
One last thing: It’s only awkward if you make it awkward
Many people still feel awkward discussing sex, particularly when it comes to their own needs and desires, but it doesn’t need to be that way. Getting into the habit of talking about your sexuality and setting your own boundaries is a great way to get the sex life you deserve.
Many women have a #MyMorningAfter story. Share yours and help us put an end to the stigma that surrounds emergency contraception.
•Some names have been changed.